Sevco Job
Subject: Application for the, the Rangers club managers position
To whom it may concern Dave King? Alistair Johnstone? Mark Allen? or whoever takes to do with hiring the manager seems like thats Jim Traynors job.
I would like to enter the wordlwide race to become the manager of this great club, who wouldn't be with your great history. I will never forgot the famous Ibrox team who won the Petrofac cup beating Peterhead not manys teams can compete with Peterhead
I will admit in my application however that I am a Celtic supporter so would have a problem if the Rangers ever beat Celtic, but as that problem will never arise it's fine.
I don't have any experience actually managing a professional football team, but I did win the European Cup with Man City on football manager 2016 and in my opinion thats more than Pedro Caixina ever managed (he would get Real Madrid fcukin relegated playing that game!)
I don't think past managers have treated your club fairly, I mean Mark Warburton resigned without even realising (out of order Warbo!!) Ally McCoist said he doesn't do walking away, then fcuked off to take up a gardening position I heard he's pish at that too.
I would change your clubs signing policy though, signing players like Alves, Barton etc. on big wages is ok for selling season tickets but these guys shit themselves looking at a picture of Scott Brown never mind playing against him.
I do realise your clubs supporters won't be too happy with a Catholic, Celtic supporter with no experience becoming your clubs new manager but I believe they will get on board with the idea after my 1st press conference. I plan to shout "King Billy wisnae a homo" and "we are the people" and they will love me for it. Also I will question playing out football on the current Ibrox pitch. It's green ffs when I tell our supporters I will be growing blue grass for them I will be more popular than Walter Smith!
I'd maybe change your clubs ambassidors too. Bomber Brown took money off pensioners for his Ibrox takeover, when the bomber revolution ended before it began did they get it back? I heard buckfast sold in record numbers in the area for a year!
Thanks for you time
Davybhoy
ps. If I don't get the job please DON'T fcukin release a press statement about me!!!!
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